Calories (finally!!!) don't apply

Call me crazy or a geek... I am ditching sugars! I am ditching them forever! I am ditching them as they are of no use to my body whatsoever. Allelujah!

Well, Justin Bieber once sang: "Never say never" * ;)

Thus, I am not saying you will never see me with an apple, eating pasta once a month or awarding myself with a square of chocolate over the weekend. What I am trying to do is to reduce carbs to the absolute minimum... or even eat none on those days when I feel like and feel strong.

All this brilliantly dawned upon me right after having read the first chapter (this is how powerful she is) of Zoe Harcombe's book: "Stop counting calories & start losing weight" (http://www.theharcombedietshop.com/book/stop-counting-calories--start-losing-weight--paperback/1749).

Magic Maker!

And as I continue reading I am more and more astonished with her knowledge and courage to tell the world that we are eating crap and to tell the health media that they are teaching crap. So to me, she now appears as an angel who has finally come out to fight this crappy business and give all the desperate food-lovers (me including) a chance to eat (almost) anything we want, whenever we want, and as much as we want without counting calories. Sounds to good to be true? Yes! Is it just a joke? Naaaaaaah, all jokes aside. It is the truth I have been seeking all my life, I dare say.

So how did Zoe change my life? Big words, huh? :)

All those who know me have seen me with a bag of calories-reduced crisp, calories-reduced snacks, calorie-reduced processed foods etc. since forever. No way out! Addiction? Let's face it... YES... addiction & cravings & no nutrients & never-ending starvation. Sounds like a life of a Ralph Lauren model. Well, if at least I looked like one... ]:->

Finally, it's gone! You are reading an individual who eats healthily with no place for junk food. I cannot believe myself when I say it, write it and - most importantly - do it! :O

Freed from desire

Mind and senses purified...

Could it get any more colourful?

I am just back from a restaurant where I had a lovely big cod with herbs, salad and broccoli on the side for my dinner. Not feeling guilty.

I am back from a BBQ party where I had a piece of steak and home-made meatballs. Still not feeling guilty.

I have just roasted a chicken stuffed with garlic and lemon (Zoe's recipe), seasoned with Italian herbs (Italian obsession continues), and shared it with Kevinuzzo. Still soooo not feeling guilty.

How do you like that? :) I am eating... and I am cooking :O

And I may be wide of the mark here, but I think Kevinuzzo is one of beneficiaries :* oh oh oh... our cat Phoebe as well. She did love the roasted chicken. Has been begging me for more ever since ;)

Plus all those eye-openers I have come across... Why shouldn't I mix carbs with fats? Why do we crave the very food we are intolerant to and we mustn't eat? Why should I call an idiot a doctor who tells me to reduce bad (!) cholesterol? And why the f... do we overeat throughout our entire life? She has the question to anything I have ever wished to ask a dietitian about... or God, for crying out loud. She has the guts (and hers are healthy) to speak out about how most of what we eat is driven by huge 100 milliards worth of food business.

Zoe, will you marry me? :)

Inspired this much, I started researching myself ;) However, my study narrows down to checking labels, and cannot hold a candle to Zoe ;) Well, I have been a label reader for ages now, but I have never known what to look for. Calorie intake? Yeah.., now I can stuck my calorie-oriented knowledge deep up the ass of whoever taught me that (the problem is no one knows who came up with the theory, not even Zoe... Lucky bastard - he would die being tortured... and with my useless knowledge up his ass :D)

Run Lola Run... Is there the light at the end of this tunnel, though?

Going back to labels and magic content... I discover how good I am to my body treating it to my simple scrambled eggs for breakfast. Meanwhile, Kellogg's Special Slimmest Waist is smiling at me from the office desk in its devilish you-know-you-cannot-resist manner.

Does it catch my fancy? Not really ]:-> (I'm smiling back)

The only thing I like about the box is a slim lady (as if everyone who eats the lovely cereal had the slightest chance to look like this) in a swimsuit running along the beach and this is just because I am desperate for holidays ;)

So here I read. 76g of sugar, of which 56g is starch.

19 teaspoons of sugar is not quite what I want for breakfast, is it? And what do I need this carbohydrates for? Sugar? For nothing, least of all for the promised slimmest waist. Starch? For even lesser nothing. Although, my mum used to starch our shirts for the opening of the school year. The collar did look awesome 1st of September :D

I could go on and on and on... Don't know where to start, but don't want to end. This is what happens when you find a magic wand which is capable of doing for you what nothing else could, just at the right moment when you have already abandoned all hope and bought £100 worth of crisps...

Sugar down the drain! Olé! :)

* It's not like I am following the kid, this is the very first result in my google search for the phrase. I'm telling you. The world has gone down to the (gazillion) dogs!

Ice Action / Quiz it up!

Q: Which big cat should you never play cards with?

A: Cheetah!

Q: What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?

A: A headbanger

Take it in turns to sing 'row row row your boat' whilst doing star jumps and see who can hold the tune the best

No, I did not go back in time to reminisce about my childhood games, for they looked nothing like this...

Thanks to my two challenging (I really want to say 'unthinking') brothers my early years consisted in wrestling, watching "Candyman" (of whom I am still afraid, by the way), hunting for hidden porn magazines, collecting chocolate foil wrappers to support hash* smoking (It wasn't me smoking, but them. I started a bit later :P), and covering up for them lying to the police. Once again, I do come from a pathological family :O I still do believe I have grown to be quite normal.

Sooooooo, what is behind those cheeky monkeys is my every-now-and-then, over-the-weekend secrecy. Ice Cream! One and only Wall's Soft Scoop Vanilla (www.sharehappy.com).

Rays of Sun Marathon

"All hope abandon ye who enter here."**

My evening Heaven smothered with ice cream turns into my morning Inferno... moral hangover, which is the worst of all. Having drunk too much beer - you are fed up with beer and all the breweries within a hundred kilometres from the pub where you spent the previous night (was it a pub or a bar? Yeah! Like that matters...). Having drunk too much wine - you curse grapes, the stupid bartender who sold you yet another bottle seeing that you could barely stand on your own feet, and all the Australian harvesters. Having drunk too much vodka? Well, you probably hate sun rays, traffic noise and pretty much everything around.

(Mind you! If you are not experiencing any of the symptoms above, you quite convincingly show Alcohol Dependance Syndrome :P No worries, you're not alone... a 'high five' with nine in 100 men and four in 100 women in the UK!)***

But having eaten too much ice cream? You hate yourself, for one cannot hate ice cream (Ross has always seemed strange to me). That's where the misery starts. Trapped in self-loathing, if gluttony strikes you Sunday through Thursday... Even kids know that calories don't apply over the weekend. Friday, will you marry me? :)

"I do it for... I do it for the love [x2]" :)

#GoodbyeSerious

Those who know me will believe when I say that I'm actually 100% up for buying vanilla tubs for its riddles, and not for ice cream itself. Of course, craving for vanilla ice cream was the main motive in the first place, but eventually my child-like stubbornness took over and I entered one-person, me-against-me type competition to get as many happy messages as possible. Either Wall's knows my needs or I know theirs...

Anyway, once you open a box, you don't let ice cream sit around in the freezer for too long, and since life ain't no easy pie, you find yourself most lured into grabbing a spoon at night, when you know you passed the-last-meal o'clock a few hours ago. Left, right, left! No one's looking, no one's judging... The next thing you know, you are floating (you could swim - if you controlled it) in a vanilla river and you have to add 300 kcal extra (or 150 kcal if you try to fool yourself and tamper with the kitchen scales) to "MyNetDiary"...

"My spoon is tooooooo biiiiiiig". Oh, what a diet spoiler! I cannot be trusted with ice cream. Thus, I always think twice before I open the freezer. But - at times - giving it a second thought is a challenge big enough to break the tub open. Fucking illusion of freedom and choice.

But every (vanilla) cloud has a silver lining and I get to leave a love message carved in ice cream... ("I do it for... I do it for the love [x2]")

I am the queen of excuses!

P.S. On monday I will skip my breakfast and we are good to go... Catch up with you on Friday, love ♡

*funny that nowadays, the word hash makes me think about Instagram rather than cannabis... ;)

**From Dante's Divine Comedy. The 1814 translation into English by the Reverend H. F. Cary

*** Is it obvious that I have a slight tendency to look down on the majority of Britons? :O