Home is where the food is

I don’t mean just any food. I mean my food. Something I am obsessed with and associated with. Like Chris is associated with pizza, my mum is associated with coffee and a cigarette (hmmmm, a lovely set, isn’t it?), our flat mates are associated with sea food, and my daddy is associated with beer (looks like my family has serious eating disorders… ;))

FCUK (do not correct!), this is where the saying “you are what you eat” regains some strong sense, cause you actually look at a person through what (s)he eats. Thus, in this line of thinking Chris would be a fat, cheerful site builder with a Santa-like belly, my mum would be a skinny businesswoman, the couple would be posh millionaires, and my dad would be a poor student who bets on cheap alcohol rather than expensive food whatsoever :O

None of those is of course true, thank Heaven! ;)

Weight off my chest! Now I feel more willing to reveal my British secrets. You already know pretty much of what I used to crave back in Poland.

So what am I associated with?

Of course, some of my food fixations travelled with me all the way here – I am loyal to the once discovered goodies. However, I must say that they are somehow prominently better in here. Let me illustrate the upgrade with a few examples.

A case in point number 1: Activia – my dearly beloved friend for about 7 years now. We first met in the UK, anyway :) when I was struggling as an au pair with three children and, what’s even worse, with their spoilt parents ;) She (Activia, not the host mum) showed me that my bowels can actually work! ;) In Poland, Activia 0% entered the market over a year ago as a limited edition and I could only get it in Poznań. The UK?? Activia 0% is simply mushrooming here :) I love this little container of max 70 kcal, which I can get, btw, in packets of 12 :D

Another thing is the price – in Poland, for the packet of 4 you do pay through the nose. In here, the price is ridiculously low, so I could even get an Activia massage treatment every day, if I wanted ;) Hmmm, that would be nutritious for my skin, wouldn’t it? ;)

Elegant and slim :)

A case in point number 2: Cereal! In Poland, I was effectively separated from my lovely speedy breakfast of whole-grain cereal with semi-skimmed milk, as whole grains were non-existent. Even when you take supposedly the healthiest one, it is full of sugar, additives etc. What a beautiful (a) excuse for those who want to eat rubbish, but still want to call it healthy, and (b) a dangerous delusion for those who actually want to eat healthily, but are a mile behind any comprehension of what heath means. In the UK, I have found perfect cereal which allows me for sin-free breakfast. Surprisingly enough (?), the best one are the cheapest one – store brands. Well, it is the famous brand of honey “O”s which needs to cater for the customer a and b (see above) – lots of sugar makes a drug*, whereas store brands take it easy. Good for me :)

Bran in the blinding sunlight

A case in point number 3: GI cob. It’s bread my loves ;) The Glycemic Index one. My surprise was endless when I actually discovered it in here (dunno why I was this surprised). Ok, you will ask what is better about the British GI bread? There IS such! :D A few metres from my home. In Poland, I could only get it from Leszno (24km away), and only if I was fast enough.

Other goodies were a revelation to me, at discovering which – I must say – I was profoundly shocked. Imagine a virgin working in a brothel and you will get my point. I’m cruel and I know it J Healthy stuff in increasingly obese Britain? Well, impossible is nothing**

A case in point number 3: Chocolate spread! I reckon I’m going to win you over with this one :> I do not recall anything as good as Philadelphia Light with Cadbury Chocolate (which reminds me of yet another case in point – Cadbury chocolate!) on shop shelves in Poland. We have regular spreads which are, again, full of sugar***. Philadelphia Light is a cottage cheese with extra chocolate. I am not saying it is next-to-a-cucumber-alkaline-forming food, but it is the least evil once you really feel like lazy Sunday breakfast or lunch consisting of a croissant with chocolate plus a mug of milk (semi-skimmed of course!).

And all of a sudden this magnificent view unfolded before us...

A case in point number 4: Cadbury chocolate! I will comment briefly as it doesn’t really stress the points I am trying to raise here. It is just fucking good – that’s all. It is so good that I was asked to send one box of Heroes to Poland. I hope you enjoyed it Aguś and that it didn’t really affect your lower parts of the body ;)

Won't save your life, but will definitely spice it up

A case in point number 5: Sainsbury’s freshly made soups! Imagine vegetable soup made by your mum from scratch. Carrots, potatoes, peas, cauliflower, leek… whatever you like (or your mum likes ;)). Now, subtract a litre of fat coming from bacon and soup bones, subtract roux (pure evil) and – if your mum sometimes gets carried away – subtract too much salt, pepper, whatever ;) Voila! You’ve just cooked yourself Sainsbury’s soup ;) Really fresh with sizeable chunks of chicken, veggies; creamy and pleasantly (?) thick. Can stay fresh just for a few days in a fridge so buy and gobble. And for those constantly running away from calories – half a pot has a low calorie content of around 105 kcal. Perfect for lunch or supper.

Get to know Creamy Amy

A case in point number 6: Weight Watchers biscuits. I am going to refer to biscuits only, but there is a bunch of WW products. The chief target is to pack in a biscuit as few calories as possible, but not at any cost. I shall say as few EMPTY calories as possible, then. WW biscuits won’t be something you will eat away for breakfast, but once you feel like a snack other than a carrot ;)

1 chip, 2 chips, 3 chips...

A case in point number 7: Frozen yoghurts about which I elaborated two notes ago. Pure pleasure! Still cannot believe that so good a treat can be actually this healthy.

A case in point number 8: Rice / whole-grain crackers. Yet another alternative to crisps, caramelised popcorn, taffy candies and other 'lovely' snacks. The whole-grain ones you could also find in Poland (I did last time I was forced to fly back – thanks UAM! I mean it :)), though it is a rarity. The rice crackers (a snack of the squinted-eyed) are nowhere to be found in Poland. I can buy them only from Londi off-licence near my work.

Asian Gourmet

A case in point 9: Lurpak the lightest. Well, this point is quite weak and the only favoured thing about it would be a lower calorie content. All the rest makes the spreadable unwholesome****. Thus, I take it out of the fridge just when I really feel like ditching a diet for a day. Chris loves it, though and he makes me buy it ;) Well, you know how it is with food within your reach – you reach for it ;)

Two final comments (at the end of this terribly long note):

1) Tell me how it is possible that in a country where one can find lots of good food, where the government is truly concerned about the obesity problem, where you have thousands of dieters… there are so many people with health issues? Well, I guess it would be the same syndromes Americans use as an excuse. From one extreme: “I am poor and I eat cheap shit, and fuck off” to the other “I am terribly rich… and fuck off” :) Speaking seriously however, this is everyone’s syndrome – we reach for what is within our reach, we are uneducated in terms of healthy eating and we either don’t care or we don’t know what is good for us. Why am I so serious this time? Let me not care. I have my pot of creamy soup for lunch and my stomach loves me for it. I love him too. And what does your stomach have to say? :>

2) What does the food tell about me? Neither a millionaire nor a busy businesswoman. A confirmed romanticist, always between one and the other. Between a healthy diet and a packet of Doritos over the weekend. Between eating little and devouring ice cream at night (again over the weekend only). Between what has a low calorie content and what has a high vitamin content. Don't try to understand me ;P

* this cereal was actually considered an unapproved new drug in 2009 :O

** Gosh! Quite many references to known brands in this very piece of writing :>

Nope, I am not paid any money for this.

*** Why do I hate sugar so much? Cause I only love food, and sugar is not a food (for more information, I recommend Zoe Harcombe’s website and her podcasts on BBC)

**** Again, check out Zoe Harcombe's website!